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kirstyjay
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Joined: 15 May 2006
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Location: Chio, Tenerife
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Yep... and when you live here you don't get the chance to take advantage of the beautiful sunny place.
Have you read JC's Book yet? More Ketchup than Salsa?
He mentions in it the first time they went to the beach from when they started running the bar... and it was almost a year after they moved here!
That's why I get a little peed off when family and friends come over and comment on how little tan we have... It's because we WORK!
Also, when folks come over and say how much they'd like to buy a bar over here and have an easy life... EASY? You'll be working 18 hours a day mate, and will probably never see the sun. 
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Mon Jul 17, 2006 10:40 am
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sara
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Joined: 30 Dec 2004
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...well, i'm not one of them...i don''t want a bar, or any other work there to be honest...when i come over to live , it'll be when all i have to do IS chill and get a suntan....anyone with half a brain knows that the grass isn't greener on the other side and that life is what you make it, thru hard work, or if you're extremely lucky, the lottery makes it!......
....as for reading jc's book, maybe i'll get round to it, maybe i won't....i'm in the middle of many a few books at the mo, so it'd have to join the queue..Paulo Coelho is at the top of the list, very interesting and thought provoking...
...so, bye for now , while i go sit on the patio to top up my tan and dream of the duque beach and my expensive sunbed!  |
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Mon Jul 17, 2006 11:18 am
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sunny
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Joined: 19 Jun 2006
Posts: 3454
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Agree with Kirstyjay when people visit us they are on their holidays and assume we can keep up with all their meals, drinks, excursions out etc. Obviously we do some but their comment usually is that everything is so cheap here, yes it is if you are comparing with English salaries.
Have also met people who have moved here without really putting a lot of thought and planning into it and are stuck working more hours than they ever did at home for a lot less money and are feeling pretty miserable.
I'll get off my soapbox now!! |
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Tue Jul 18, 2006 10:11 am
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rob
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Joined: 08 Aug 2004
Posts: 7267
Location: Tenerife
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There's also the point that when people come on holiday they come with money to spend and enjoy. Do they spend the same amount at home? Eat out/go out as much? They forget that we may have visitors every month and cannot take the time off/spend as though we were on holiday every month.
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Tue Jul 18, 2006 1:32 pm
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sara
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...when i come out there on my holidays course i'm going to spend and enjoy! thats what my hubs works sooo hard for; to enjoy the fruits of his long hours and hard work; no scrimping on being comfy on the beach for hours on a towel on the sand......  .yes we eat out a bit,although not all of the time at home........if i had relatives/friends to visit out there i wouldn't presume that they were up for eating out daily and providing us with entertainment, after all it's their home they're not on holiday............if thats the case with you lot, then i suggest you politely tell your visitors just how it is for you  .................... |
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Tue Jul 18, 2006 3:30 pm
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kirstyjay
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Joined: 15 May 2006
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Location: Chio, Tenerife
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You may say that, but you'd be surprised at how many people just don't 'see' it and get hurt if you mention it...
I usually end up dragging the kids into LA every day... a half hour drive for me each way in a hot car... My bloke's mum got right upset last time when I pointed out exactly how much I was putting myself out so that she could see her grandkids... as if it was me that wasn't being flexible!
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Tue Jul 18, 2006 10:35 pm
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sara
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well, what can i say??....either it's too much like hard work to live out there , or it's just like living anywhere else in the world where working to live is the norm!!..  ..it can't be all bad ,can it?? if so.....all these people who want to live out there wouldn't be living their dream would they??
....maybe your mum-in-law had just cause to be upset??? she loves her grandkids i presume....and how long was she out for?? 2 weeks?? if so, it's not such a long time to "put yourself out" in the general scheme of things is it???..life after visitors soon goes back to normal...... : |
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Wed Jul 19, 2006 6:51 am
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sunny
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Yeah but when you have lots of visitors, more so now than when we were at home (wonder why!!) not always that easy, although it is lovely to see them, for a short while, if you know what I mean.  |
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Wed Jul 19, 2006 8:28 am
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rob
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Joined: 08 Aug 2004
Posts: 7267
Location: Tenerife
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All visitors bring enormous pleasure....
Some when they arrive.....
Some when they leave !!!
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Wed Jul 19, 2006 8:54 am
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kirstyjay
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Joined: 15 May 2006
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Location: Chio, Tenerife
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| sara wrote: | | ....maybe your mum-in-law had just cause to be upset??? she loves her grandkids i presume....and how long was she out for?? 2 weeks?? if so, it's not such a long time to "put yourself out" in the general scheme of things is it???..life after visitors soon goes back to normal...... : |
That is EXACTLY the attitude that causes the problem. My kids are 18 months and 3 years old... at the time they were much younger.
If you had to COMPLETELY disrupt their routine, which incidentally makes then cry a lot and become moody, to which you're asked by said mother-in-law why they cry so much and are so naughty - It's because they're tired and hate sitting in a hot car for 1 hour round trip everyday!
Then when you get there, you send all your time chasing infants round, because the place you take them to isn't child-proofed and more often than not, the apartment has 'nice' vases and other breakables... or plug sockets that don't have covers on them...
Plus you're tired all the time because you have to do YOUR work when you get home and therefore get less sleep, but the kids are still up at the same time every day.
And you're expected to go out for meals every night which cost money you don't have to spend...
Then within two weeks of one grandparent going back, you've got it all again from another... (There are 4 of them, and often they come out twice to three times a year each - you do the math).
I'm sorry, but I DO put myself out for every person that comes out. Often at the expense of my own family life. I even pick them all up from the airport and do a transfer service that is a 1.5 hour round trip for me and is often at unsociable times. I do, however, get annoyed at how visitors are often reluctant to put themselves out in return.
Life doesn't get chance to 'go back to normal', as you put it, when you get that many visitors a year. If you had 25-30 weeks every year where you were expected to stop everything (including work) and look after people, I think you'd see it a little diferently too.
Don't get me wrong, I love living here. I love the sun, the scenery and the fact my kids are being brought up in a place I know they are safe. We put up with the low wages because the cost of living is less... I would get paid about 2 to 3 times what I do here if I was working in the UK... however people on holiday come with money to spend and often expect you to have the same spending power as they do. That's simply not the case.
All I ask is that visitors REALISE what people over here actually do when they come over and try to accommodate US sometimes.
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Wed Jul 19, 2006 10:08 am
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rob
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Location: Tenerife
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Wow, nice to get that off your chest hey Kirst? It's very true, unfortunately Grandparents or other friends and relations don't realise the facts. During my first year here I had an almost constant stream of friends and relations who wouldn't drive on the 'wrong' side, didn't know how to buy foreign food or how to cook it! I even had one lot who asked me to cook a meal for their children as they would only eat 'certain foods' and then something nicer for them! That was after driving them around all day.
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Who am I? Follow the myspacetenerife link under my avatar.
Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing. |
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Wed Jul 19, 2006 10:59 am
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jenny
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Joined: 29 Aug 2005
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I'm lucky, my parents stay close by or with us so no driving to see them every day. My husband's parents are Spanish so don't have the driving problem and also stay with us.
I did do the "island tour" thing with my relatives and friends the first few times, but then I didn't have such a hectic lifestyle (ie no children!). They now just get the bus or borrow my car, when I don't need it. |
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Wed Jul 19, 2006 3:07 pm
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sunny
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Joined: 19 Jun 2006
Posts: 3454
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Nice one Kirstyjay you have really summed up what we are all trying to say.  |
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Wed Jul 19, 2006 3:23 pm
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sara
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Joined: 30 Dec 2004
Posts: 4461
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...or you could ust say "no"!!! .....nobody makes you do all the stuff you detest doing!!....and judging by how you sound when you write all the above, more than a few of your visitors will feel how much you seem to resent having your life turned upside down for the time that they are there... ......and btw, it's not an "attitude" that i have , just seeing your point of view from the "other" side.... |
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Thu Jul 20, 2006 7:16 am
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kirstyjay
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Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 830
Location: Chio, Tenerife
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Do you really think I haven't tried saying 'no'? I've been here 6 years now.
It's when you DO say no that people get upset, because they CAN'T see it from the 'other' side.
The other side that you talk about is how they see it and any deviation from that, is apparently wrong. Even if you do try to explain it reasonably and try not to hurt people's feelings. Some people just think you're being nasty...
Read the comments above. It's not just me. If you lived here for any length of time you'd understand our side too.
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Buy & Sell your stuff online FREE - www.canarianexchange.com - eBay for the Canaries |
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Thu Jul 20, 2006 8:54 am
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