Tenerife forum

[rob]

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at WalMart. Just give a urine sample & the computer'll tell you what's wrong & what to do about it. It takes 10 seconds & costs$10.00----a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar & takes it to WalMart. He deposits $10.00, & the computer lights up & asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot & waits. Ten seconds later the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water & avoid heavy activity. This will improve in 2 weeks."

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife & daughter, & masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurries back to WalMart, eager to check the results. He deposits $10.00, pours in his concoction, & awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:
1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3) Your daughter has a cocane habit. Get her into rehab.
4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5) If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.