Tenerife forum

[sara]

...i feel really down, and , i must say, a bit angry today...

..my brother went to see the oncologist yesterday, they will try one blast of chemo, but it will not do anything for the cancer at all, as they now say he is "riddled " with it in both lungs, and all the chemo can/might do is help with the pain.... .how sh**.

..i get my shopping on-line and tesco ( or the actual packer that did mine made a huge foul up ) they have had to refund almost £20 as the packer put tins in with fruit??eh?? and loads of other stuff that needn't have been done..

..a stupid parent in a hurry this morning at school drop off nearly hit my youngest..they'd better not hang around at pick up time or they will get one massive tongue lashing about their ineptness and their crappy driving skills.. ( oooh, they've made a big mistake there!!)

..my dog ( yes i do love him) has puked in my dining room and i really want to kick his a**, but , i know he couldn't help it...

..its raining and i can't peg my washing out. .

...and i've run out of coke ( tesco didn't pack it)..... .

,......*wail* *wail*..i've had enough..i can't cope...

...can today get any worse....

[jenny]

Can't help much but a big hug from warmer climes (or kiss as I can't find a hugging icon!)
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[NJ7703]

On those days where life seems to pile it on in spades, you have to hang on to whatever bright spot you can. I am very sorry about your brothers news. It sounds like at this point, being pain free may be the most important thing. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and him at this time.

I know that at a better time, those other things would just be a nuisance, but they are magnified by what else is going on in your life. Just hang in there, and rely on your friends and family to get you through a rough patch. If it helps, i stepped in dog poo putting out the garbage. By the time i realized it, i was stuck in 3 lanes of traffic in my car, and dealt with that for an hr drive. I thought it was me

[sara]

...thankyou jenny, it means a lot! xx

[sara]

...nj; you're right,( after reading my post) everything except my brothers crappy news and the near miss with my son , is totally irrelevant and, like you say i would normally just get on with it and silently curse a bit!!.........

i am so sorry for the poo escapade...it must have been horrendous for you.. an hour of that stink!!..i'd have had to throw the shoes i'm afraid...

[NJ7703]

Well to be honest, i almost... ALMOST... thought about leaving a bit on when i got out of the car, just to see what kind of reaction i would get from the co-workers. It would be interesting to see who would say "My God, you smell like wet mule". This of course would require me to walk around with poo on my shoe, and that in itself lends credence to the results of the psychopath thread that apollo posted. I have decided not to go the way of madness. You just hang in there, and find a way of laughing at the absurd.

[sara]

...if you were here i'd hug you!! thanks for making me stand back and look at stuff in a different perspective.

...and the poo on the shoe at work; you would have been very popular.....and then there would have been a dilema ( like the bogey) for you workmates , tell him he smells like he's rotting, or pretend there's nothing wrong?? ha ha

[rob]

Hi, A big
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[NJ7703]

You are very welcome, and yes i like to "push buttons"

[sara]

...aww, thanks rob..you remembered my little angel!!...

[karlb]

Thinking of you Sara, keep your chin up. xx
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[Dave and Alli]

Hi Sara

I don't know you personally as we've never met, but I can feel from your posts the pain that you're going through.
I lost my own brother to stomach cancer in 1989 and although it's nearly 18 years ago now I still feel a whole range of emotions whenever I think of him during the last few months of his life.

I'm sure as well as feeling upset and desperate, you probably also feel very angry and frustrated.
Angry that it should happen to your brother, angry that this is happening to him at his age and frustrated because the medical folks can't do any more to help other than to ease his pain.
You might also be feeling pain for the family and friends who are going to be left behind - he's a son, a brother and perhaps even a husband and dad.

I hope that you find, as I did with my brother, that he becomes emotionally stronger and stronger during his remaining days.
There will come a time, if it hasn't happened already, when he resigns himself to and accepts his fate. When this happens I hope that you find he becomes more settled and ends up supporting you, his family, as much as you are trying to support him.

My biggest worry with my brother was the pain that he might suffer, but please don't concern yourself with that, the drugs that are used are very effective and he will not be in any pain at all.

If there is any chance of getting help from McMillan Nurses or a local Hospice then grab it with both hands. They are absolutely brilliant and despite the sadness that any terminal illness brings, the nurses and hospices are some of the happiest people and places that I've ever come across and they offer real practical help too.

I don't know if you or your brother have a faith Sara, but if you do then trust in it.
Use it to get you through the hard times and use it to help bring you closer to each other.

Try not to leave words unsaid, if there are things that you want to say to your brother about how you feel about him, then say them, he will be glad to hear them.
Remember to smile and laugh too and recall your life with him; laughter is probably one of the best stress relievers and pain killers around.

Don't be a hero, you and your family need support too, it is and will be a very traumatic experience for all of you.
Don't be afraid to ask for help, whether this is from Doctors, friends, counsellors or whoever you feel you can talk to.

Alli and I are thinking of you and if there's anything we can do to help just ask either via the forum or please pm or email us if you need someone to talk with.

Dave
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[margaretbl]

Ah pet here is a big hug from me too, think of the good times and as dave an alli have said say all the things you need to say, and accept the help that is offered.

Tesco give them hell what type of packer did they use brain dead

Mother at school I agree tounge lashing

Ah the poor dog is he ok now

And for god sake you won't find the answer at the bottom of a bottle of coke

chin up pet
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[rob]

What a fabulous post D & A, brought a lump to my throat.
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[apollo]

Awww Sara. So sorry to hear what a naff (for want of a better stronger word) time you're having.

Thinking of you. xxxx


Dave and Alli, very moving post xx
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