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[scooter]

Dracula has just spent the night drinking Bloody Marys in various clubs and biting on unsuspecting women's necks. Feeling intoxicated, he begins heading for home sometime before sunrise. Suddenly he is hit on the back of the head. He turns around and sees no one. He looks down and sees a small sausage roll.

A few yards further and thud ... smacked on the head again! He whirls round as quickly as he can. No one! As he looks down, there is a small triangular sandwich lying on the ground.

A few yards further along the street and whack ... smacked on the back of the head a third time! He whirls round as quickly as he can and still sees no one. Looking down, there is a cocktail sausage lying on the ground. He's getting really confused and angry now.

He stands and and waits a few moments, peering into the darkness of the night. Feeling it's now safe to continue his journey home. He walks a few yards further when he gets a sudden tap on the shoulder. With a swirl of his cape and a cloud of mist, he turns as fast as he can. He feels a sharp pain in his heart. He falls to the ground clutching his chest, which is punctured by a small cocktail stick laden with a chunk of cheese and a meatball. On the ground, dying, he looks up and sees a young female. With his dying breath, he gasps, "Who are you?"

The girl smiles and replies, "My name is Buffet, the Vampire Slayer!"
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rather a vespa than a lambretta