Tenerife forum

[rob]

1) If you're choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of hot coffee down your throat & presto!!!!! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2) Clumsy????? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3) Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4) High blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself & bleed for awhile, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5) A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over & going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

6) If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives then you'll be afraid to cough.

7) Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you'll forget about the tooth ache........

[sara]

god! and you say my jokes are crap!! Swap the book for another one, or add more water to it!

[rob]

Hey I put those there especially for you I thought they'd be right up your street,