Tenerife forum

jenny · Senior Moderator Joined: 29 Aug 2005 Posts: 5290

Operator: Computer assistance, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, I’m having trouble with my word-processing programme
Operator: What sort of trouble?
Caller: Well I was just typing along, when all of a sudden the words went away.
O: The words went away?
C: They disappeared.
O: So what does your screen look like now?
C: Nothing.
O: Nothing?
C: It’s blank and it won’t accept anything when I type.
O: Are you still in the programme or did you get out?
C: How do I tell?
O: Can you see the C prompt?
C: What is a sea prompt?
O: Never mind. Can you move your cursor around the screen?
C: There isn’t any cursor. I told you it won’t accept anything I type.
O: Does your monitor have a power indicator?
C: What’s a monitor?
O: It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?
C: I don’t know.
O: Well then look on the back of the monitor and find out where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?
C: Yes, I think so.
O: Great. Follow the cord to the wall and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.
C: Yes, it is.
O: When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?
C: No.
O: Well there are. I need you to look there again and find the other cable.
C: OK, here it is.
O: Follow it for me and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.
C: I can’t reach.
O: Aha. Well can you see if it is?
C: No.
O: Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean over?
C: Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle - it’s because it’s dark.
O: Dark?
C: Yes, the office light is off and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
O: Well turn on the office light then.
C: I can’t.
O: No? Why not?
C: Because there’s a power failure.
O: A power……………………….a power failure? Aha, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals the computer came in?
C: Well yes, I keep them in the closet.
O: Good. Go and get them, unplug your system, pack it up just like it was when you got it then take it back to the store you bought it from.
C: Really. Is it that bad?
O: Yes, I’m afraid it is.
C: Well alright then I suppose. What do I tell them?
O: Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer.

Needless to say the helpdesk employee was fired but sued the employer for wrongful dismissal!
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dave from cardiff · Junior Reefer Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 59

Jenny---That's the best computer one I've read for a long time

Treble99

Computers and end users eh!

I once had a computer company, and we installed Pegasus Opera for a large client. My sales manager went out to talk him through how to use it etc. He spent 2 days training his staff how to use it. He also taught him how to do a back up of his system (in those days it was onto floppy disks).

The customer called the following day and asked the sales manager to run through the back up procedure again. The sales manager said I will come and show you again. He did.

2 days later, the client called again. Can you talk me through it again please. The sales manager did.

A couple of days later, yip you guessed it, he called again asking if the sales manager could go back out to him. I said that he could but we would charge him this time. The client didn't want to be charged so the sales manager said, do your backup and send me a copy of the disks and he would check them.

An hour later we received a fax from the client, on it was an image of the disks.

What a plonker!

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Treble99
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