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margaretbl
Supreme Reefer
Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 3758
Location: south tyneside
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 Post subject: nursery rhymes |
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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.
It's Raining, It's Pouring.
Oh shit, it's Global Warming.
Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
He can't keep his heart rate down
And she's got diabetes.
Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and everywhere that Mary went
the boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt
'twas split right up the front
...But she didn't wear that one often.
Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
between two chunks of bread.
Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man
'What have u got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon
Pies you dickhead.
Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its arse
and turned its wool to nylon.
Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
he kissed them too cause he was gay.
Jack and Jill
went up the hill
to have a little fun.
Jill, the dill,
forgot her pill,
and now they have a son.
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
and grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy.
_________________
Failures don't plan to fail, they fail to plan
(Harvey Mackay) |
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Mon Mar 31, 2008 2:11 pm
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claire24
Pro Reefer
Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 218
Location: AT MO : HAYES MIDDLESEX
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| Post subject: Re: nursery rhymes |
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| margaretbl wrote: | Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.
It's Raining, It's Pouring.
Oh shit, it's Global Warming.
Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
He can't keep his heart rate down
And she's got diabetes.
Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and everywhere that Mary went
the boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt
'twas split right up the front
...But she didn't wear that one often.
Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
between two chunks of bread.
Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man
'What have u got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon
Pies you dickhead.
Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its arse
and turned its wool to nylon.
Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
he kissed them too cause he was gay.
Jack and Jill
went up the hill
to have a little fun.
Jill, the dill,
forgot her pill,
and now they have a son.
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
and grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy. |
My days always brighten up with one of your jokes hunny xxx
_________________
www.myspace.com/claire_the_babe
I am also on Face book ... but who isnt ?? |
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Mon Mar 31, 2008 3:31 pm
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Tenerife Seagull
Pro Reefer
Joined: 28 Aug 2005
Posts: 540
Location: Puerto de la Cruz, Tenerife
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Mary had a little lamb.
Its feet were full of frolics.
It tried to jump a five bar gate
And landed on its left fetlock.
Mary had a little lamb.
She also had a duck.
She put them on the mantelpiece
To see if they would fffall off.
Mary had a little lamb.
She also had a bear.
I've often seen her little lamb,
But I've never seen her bear.
Mary had a little lamb.
The doctor was amazed.
_________________
Don't follow the 'MySpaceTenerife' link under my avatar because you will learn nothing about me.
You will never grow old with Rock n' Roll. |
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Thu Apr 17, 2008 11:17 pm
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MaryJ
Pro Reefer
Joined: 09 Sep 2007
Posts: 452
Location: Chesterfield, Derbyshire
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I thought I had heard them all with my name. lol
How about you Stripps?
_________________
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. |
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Fri Apr 18, 2008 6:19 pm
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